How to deal with depression
Hello, my name is Noah Elkrief and in this blog post, I’m going to talk about how to deal with depression. Or more accurately, I’m going to help you to stop feeling depressed, or at least I’m going to try. But what I’m going to do with this blog post is not teach you something or give you more knowledge or give you something to practice. I’m going to show you, help you discover for yourself that the cause of your depression isn’t true. That won’t make much sense right now, but hopefully by the end of the video, not only will that make sense but you will be feeling a significant amount of relief or much more peaceful. If that interests you, if you want to give that a shot, you’re welcome to keep watching.
Depression is a set of feelings
The first thing is, when we feel depressed, we tend to have the phrasing or terminology of “I’m depressed. I’m clinically depressed. I am depressed. I have this type of depression. I am severely depressed. I am depressed”. But is that true, you are depressed? That’s who you are? Let’s just look at that. You are depressed. What is depression? Not in theory, not some idea that you were taught. But if you are depressed right now, what is it right now? How do you feel right now? What’s going on with you right now?
Well, there’s a set of feelings. You may feel pressure on your chest, a feeling in your stomach. You may feel sad. You may feel lonely. You may feel worthless. You may feel unworthy, unlikeable, insufficient, lacking, ashamed, no energy, no motivation, no will to do anything – something along those lines. What you have in this moment is a feeling or a set of feelings, a combination of feelings. That’s what you have right now. It’s not that you are depressed. You are experiencing a set of feelings. That’s what’s going on, right? If you get cancer, it’s not as though you are cancer, you have it. You have the feelings associated with cancer. You have the internal mechanisms going on with the cancer but it’s not that that’s who you are. Take a moment now to squeeze one of your hands with your other hand. Do you feel pressure on your hand? Are you a pressured person? No, you just feel pressure in this moment. Just because you feel pressure, that doesn’t mean it is who you are.
You don’t feel depressed in every moment
It’s the same thing with depressed. You may think you are always depressed but there are moments when you’re not. Before you had it for one, you were you before you were depressed. You may seem like a different you, but something was the same. Now you are still you. There are different feelings going on but you are you. And even now that you claim to be depressed or you have this set of feelings that we can call depression, they are not there in every moment, most likely. They may be, but probably not. There are probably some moments throughout your week where you forget about depression or the thoughts that create depression don’t come up, right? And times when you enjoy yourself maybe playing a sport, dancing, watching a little kid smile or playing, or watching your favorite TV show or eating your favorite food. For a second, there’s no depression. So you were always you but the feeling comes and goes. It may come more often than it goes, but still there are moments when it’s not here.
You are not a depressed person
Depression is not who you are, it is simply a feeling, maybe a very strong feeling, but it is a feeling that you experience rather than who you are. And that distinction is very important because as long as you think “I am depressed”, there’s nothing you can do about it. But when you recognize “It’s a feeling that I experience”, then we can begin to investigate that feeling a little bit.
You blame yourself for your depression because you think you are in control
The next element we’re going to look at is this idea that depression means something about who you are. In other words, once we have these feelings that we label depression, the next thought that tends to pop up in our head is, “There’s something wrong with me because I’m depressed. I am bad because I am depressed. I am weak or stupid because I am depressed. Being depressed signifies something about me”, right?
If you were walking down the street and someone throws a rock at your back when you’re not looking, you’re just walking down the street and then you feel pain in your back. You turn around, you dint know who it was and yet you feel pain in your back. Are you going to blame yourself for that pain? Are you going to think that pain, that feeling in your back signifies something about who you are? No, of course not. That pain that’s a feeling in your back, a feeling in your body, but it doesn’t signify anything about you. Why doesn’t it signify anything about you? Why doesn’t it mean you’re weak? Why doesn’t it mean you’re stupid? Why doesn’t it mean you’re bad in some way? Simply because you recognize, “I am not to blame for this feeling”. And you recognize that because you had no control over whether this feeling came to you or not.
The reason why you feel bad about yourself for being depressed, or the reason why you feel ashamed for being depressed is simply because you believe you are to blame for it. That means that you are unknowingly believing that you can or should be able to control whether you’re depressed or not. Therefore, if you are depressed, that seems to signify that something is wrong with you. That you are too weak or stupid to be able to get rid of it.
Your depression can’t be created by facts
What creates depression? Thoughts. That’s it – thoughts. You see, it may seem like something more and if you believe that, that’s fine. I’m just going to present it in a slightly different way than you may have heard before or maybe a drastically different way. And you might come to a new conclusion, you might not. Either way, allow yourself to be open to the possibility that it is created by thoughts.
Normally when we go throughout our day, it seems like we just have that feeling of depression always. But in any moment that you’re distracted from thoughts, there’s no feeling. The feeling is gone in any moment that we’re distracted from thoughts. Situations can’t create depression because in some moments when that situation is the same, the depression won’t be there. You forget about it. Our appearance can’t create depression because in some moments that we have the same appearance, there’s no depression. Our job can’t create our depression because in some moments that we have the same job, there’s no depression.
Depression is a feeling created by thoughts
In any moment that you stop and think about what’s wrong with you, about what’s bad in your life, or about how bad your situation is, feelings of depression will instantly show up. Just take a moment now to think about how bad your life is and how bad something is wrong with you or whatever story tends to be going on in your mind all the time on repeat that corresponds with a certain feeling in your body. Notice how as soon as the thought pops up, as soon as you give attention to that story, the feelings occur. Depression occurs, right? If feelings of depression instantly occur as soon as we start thinking, and instantly disappear as soon as we are distracted from thoughts, then our depression must be created by thinking.
You don’t control what thoughts enter your mind
When we believe stories in our mind, when we give attention to these negative stories about ourselves and our life, it creates depression. Depression only means something about you if you have control over these thoughts and whether you believe that them and give attention to them. But do you pick what thoughts enter your mind? Take a moment to really look. Don’t tell me what you were trained to believe “I control my thoughts. I can make them good”. Look at your actual direct experience. Do you pick what thoughts enter your mind? If you did, why would you put negative thoughts there? Ultimately, all you want is peace. That’s what you want to be happy. If you control your thoughts, then if negative thoughts keep coming up, you must have picked them. Look, do you go into a bucket and say, “I’d like to put that thought in my head next – I’m terrible. I’d like to put that thought in there – I am unworthy”? No, those thoughts just show up out of nowhere. You are watching TV or eating, then a thought just pops up.
Look right now, what’s the next thought that will pop up in your head? Did you pick it? Did you make an effort to put it there or did it just show up? You don’t pick what thoughts enter your mind. Nobody does. I don’t. I never met anyone in all of my sessions or in all the emails that I ever got that someone picks the thoughts that enter their mind. Nobody controls that.
You don’t control what thoughts you believe and give attention to
After a thought enters your mind, the next stage is we believe it. We automatically believe every thought that enters our mind. If you had control over whether you believe the thoughts that enter your mind, you just wouldn’t believe the negative ones because they create suffering. It would be very simple if we controlled what thoughts we believe. Obviously, you don’t control that.
Depression keeps being created because we keep giving attention to the same stories over and over again, right? Every time you’re just sitting there eating by yourself or going for a walk or sitting in your car or right before you’re lying in bed ready to go to sleep, you tell the same stories over and over again in your head, right? Why do you keep giving attention to the same stories? If you controlled what thoughts you give attention to, you would just stop giving attention to all those stories that create suffering. But, yet you can’t stop doing it. That means you’re not in control. It’s not up to you. You don’t pick what thoughts you give attention to.
You may want to think, “I have the power. I can do it”, but what’s the truth? What’s your direct experience in life? Your direct experience is that you can’t control what thoughts you believe and what thoughts you give attention to. The evidence of this is because you feel depressed.
You are not to blame for your feelings of depression
If you don’t control what thoughts pop up in your mind, if you don’t control whether you believe them or not, if you don’t control whether you give attention to them or not, then you’re not to blame for the feelings they create. You’re not to blame for the depression it creates. Depression signifies nothing about you, nothing at all. It doesn’t signify that you’re weak or stupid. I meet plenty of people with strong intellects or weak intellects that are feeling depressed. I meet people who are successful or failures (according to society), more or less money who feel depressed. I meet people who are loved by many who are depressed and people who don’t have anyone who are depressed, people who are married with kids, people who are single. There is no indication of “worth” that corresponds with depression. Nothing. Depression doesn’t mean anything about you. All it means is that you are believing and giving attention to negative thoughts. That is all. It doesn’t mean anything about you. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Nothing.
Now that we see that you are not depressed, it’s just a feeling. And then we see that that depression is created by thoughts and that you are not to blame for them, it means that you aren’t bad, you aren’t weak or missing something because you’re depressed.
It seems as though our feelings of worthlessness prove that we are worthless
The next thing we have to look at is whether these thoughts that we’re telling ourselves are true, okay? The main two categories of thoughts that create depression are, broadly speaking, “My situation is bad” and “Something about me is bad”. If is say there’s something wrong with me and I feel depressed, it seems as though the feeling of depression proves that there really is something wrong with me. I’ll say that again, okay? So I think there’s something wrong with me, “I’m missing something, I’m lacking, I’m not good enough.” And then I also simultaneously have a feeling of worthlessness and depression, it seems as though my feelings of worthlessness, my feeling of depression signifies that my thought “I am worthless” must be true. But I am here to tell you that is not the case at all.
When we believe words, they create feelings
Just because you have a feeling, it doesn’t signify that there’s anything in reality that makes it true, Okay? So let me give you an example of what I mean. If you’re sitting out to eat, let’s say, and a friend calls you up and says to your house is burning down right now and you believe him. What are you going to feel? Well, you might feel afraid, sad, angry, confused – all these really, really strong emotions, right? But then imagine in the next second he says to you, “Just joking”, how are you going to feel then? Huge relief, boom! You might then start to feel angry, “Why did you do that?”, but before that comes into play or after that comes into play, you’re going to feel a huge relief. No more sadness, no more anger, no more frustration, no more fear. It’s just those feelings are completely gone.
What occurred in that situation? What would occur? Well, when you believed the words “Your house burned down”, you immediately had a feeling. That feeling wasn’t created by your house burning down because your house isn’t burning down. The feeling does not signify that there’s something in reality burning. It signifies that you believed words to be true, you see? The same is true with the words in our mind, our thoughts. When we believe them to be true, they create emotions. When we don’t believe them, they stop creating emotions. As you can see with this example, as soon as you recognize his words weren’t true when he said “I’m joking”, immediate relief occurred, right? Not because your house stopped burning down, but because it never did burn down, right? Just because you recognized the words weren’t true.
I’ll give you another example. If someone comes up to you and says the world is going to end tomorrow and you believed them, how are you going to feel? You’ll feel afraid, sad, angry, something like that. But if a different person came to you or the same person came to you and said the world is going to end tomorrow but you didn’t believe their words, how would you feel? Nothing. In both situations, you heard the exact same words. But when you believe those words to be true, they create emotions. And when you don’t believe those words to be true, they create nothing. The same is true the words in our mind, our thoughts. So when you believe there’s something wrong with me, it creates the feeling of worthlessness or depression. When you believe, “There’s something wrong with my life. My life is bad, lacking, wrong”, you create the feeling of worthlessness and depression.
Your feelings don’t prove anything about reality
If you are in a relationship, and you believe that your partner is cheating on you, but they really aren’t, how do you feel? You feel angry, sad, or hurt. If your partner is cheating on you, but you think they love you and would never cheat, how do you feel? You feel fine. If you think you are going to get fired from your job tomorrow, but you’re really not, how do you feel? Anxious, afraid. If you are actually going to get fired, but you think your job is safe, how do you feel? You feel fine. This shows that your feelings are not created by facts, but by thoughts.
Your feelings don’t prove that your thoughts are true
This is the way feelings are created: 1) A thought enters your mind. 2) You believe that thought. 3) You experience a feeling or sensation in the body. For example, a thought pops up that says “I am worthless”, then you believe that thought, then you feel a sensation in your stomach which you call feeling worthless. But, since you believe that feelings are created by facts, you then think “I feel worthless, so I must be worthless” or “This terrible feeling that I have proves that I am worthless”.
But the feelings can’t prove you are worthless because the feeling is only created by believing the idea/thought that you are worthless. The feeling doesn’t prove you are worthless, the feeling proves that you’re believing a thought that says “I’m worthless”. It doesn’t mean you are worthless. Just because a thought says there’s something wrong with you, that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you, okay? Put simply, a feeling does not prove that a thought is true, okay? A feeling, an emotion, depression worthlessness – does not prove that a thought is true because a feeling is only created by believing a thought is true.
How to discover that your thoughts might not be true
Next, we have to look at whether the thoughts creating your depression are true. Are these thoughts that I have about myself and my life true? Well, like we said, there’s kind of two categories which are creating depression: “My situation is bad” and “Something about me is bad”.
Could somebody else think that your situation is “great” relative to theirs?
First, let’s look at “My situation is bad”, something’s wrong with it. What we’re going to do is, I’m going to pose questions to you to help you discover for yourself that your situation might not be as bad as you thought, okay? When we say that something is bad, we’re saying it based on our own unique set of experiences in life and what we’ve been taught about what is good and bad. So is it possible that there are other people in the world that could think your situation is actually really good? So maybe you live in an apartment but you think that’s bad because you should be living in a house. But could some people in the world think it’s amazing that you live in an apartment that has electricity and light? Or maybe you have a sickness, but could other people with different sickness think you’re so lucky that you have that one instead? Just think about it. You might think you’re going through something really bad but ask yourself, would I consider this to be bad on like a global scale – on the real genuine scale of good to bad in terms of how I see good and bad? You might realize it’s not as bad as you thought.
Is it possible that some “good” effects could come from your seemingly “bad” situation?
Another way to recognize that your situation might not be that bad is to simply look at cause and effect a little more closely. So if you get fired from your job, what are you going to think? Is that good or bad? Well, it seems obvious. That’s obviously bad. But is it possible that if you get fired from your job, a couple of weeks later you’ll meet someone that gives you a job that was much closer aligned to what you really like doing and what you’re really good at and you become much more happy in this new job. Is that possible? Of course, that’s possible. If you get that job and you’re much happier, then a couple of years later someone asks you, “Was it good or bad that you got fired?”, you’re going to say, “It was good for my life that I got fired from my last job”.
When you make the declaration, the decision, the conclusion, that “What happened to me was bad” or “This is bad”, you’re unknowingly saying “I know the future. I know what all the millions of effects are of this particular event, situation, outcome and they all add up to being bad for my life”. But you don’t know that to be true. Look, can you think of some potential good effects that could come from your current situation or from an event that happened? Look, really try it out. Is it possible that this situation could lead me to more happiness, could lead me to something good that I want? Of course, it can. You have to be willing to really be honest with yourself that it’s possible, right?
Could other people think that your life shouldn’t be different?
When we have situations that we don’t like, a lot of the time it’s because we’ve been trained by our society about how we should live, right? In some societies in America – let’s say the Northeast where I’m from, from New York – they think you should be successful. You should fulfill your potential. You should live on own your and own a house by a certain age. You should get married and have kids by a certain age. Then, if you don’t have the “accomplishments” by a certain age or you don’t live life according to how you “should” be living, then you feel insufficient and lacking and ashamed and maybe depressed.
But can you ask yourself, is it possible that other people in a different place could think, “I should live very differently”. So in other places, they may think it’s crazy to pursue success. They might think it makes more sense to do what you love, to work in a job that helps others, or to work less hours to enjoy life more. In other places like, for instance in down South, they think you should get married at a younger age. In New York, they think you should get married in an older age. In other societies, they may think you shouldn’t get married at all, right? Or you should live in a big house, but in other societies, they may think, “No. You should live in a cabin. You should live in just what you need. Why have all the excess and extra power and extra energy being expended?” I don’t know.
It’s not that you should live life a certain way. It’s not that you should live life this way just because that’s what your society and culture thinks. That is a specific way to live life. It is not better or worse than any other way to live life, okay?
“Bad” and “good” are just ideas/concepts that aren’t a part of reality
Another thing is we have this idea that one way to live is better than another. But it’s not, they’re just different. It’s not better or worse. That doesn’t exist in reality. One person might think it’s better and other worse. How you’re living – what’s going on in your situation isn’t bad, it just is. Good and bad are ideas being superimposed on to the facts. But they’re just concepts. Everyone has a different idea. It’s all based on how we were trained or what society we were raised in. And it’s also based on not knowing the future but thinking that we do, we know all the effects of what’s going to happen.
Please take a moment to clap your hands. Now, tell me, is that a good movement or a bad movement? It’s just a movement. Mind could say it’s ugly or pretty, nice or bad, creative or not, but it’s just movement, none of that is part of reality, part of the facts. The same is true with everything about you and your life.
What do you think is “bad” about you?
The next thing is looking at ourselves. So we think there’s something bad about us, “There’s something bad about me. I am not attractive. I am not successful. I am not likeable. I am not worthy”. First, let’s look to see what you think is bad about yourself, why you’re depressed. Look to see what you think is bad about who you are. What is it? What comes up for you? What is bad about you? Please take a moment to write down a list of everything you think is bad about you.
Can you think of a few reasons or examples about why the opposite might be true?
Now let me ask you, can you think of a few reasons or examples about why the opposite might be true? If you think your body is unattractive, can you think of a few examples of things you like about your body. You may think you’re unlikeable but can you think of a few examples of times when you were likeable or a few reasons about why you are? If you think that you’re not successful or whatever, can you think of a few reasons for why you are successful or time when you were successful? See if you can come up with a few reasons as to why the opposite is true, if you can recognize that the opposite could be true, then you might realize, “I don’t know that I’m unattractive. I don’t know that I’m not funny. I don’t know that I’m not unlikeable. I don’t know that I’m unworthy. I don’t know, maybe I am worthy. I can come up with a few reasons why I might be”. In other words, when you find reasons or examples that show you that whatever you think is “bad”, might not be “bad”, then it helps you to discover “Maybe it isn’t bad at all”.
Could someone else think the opposite is true?
Another thing to look at is to ask yourself “Could other people think the opposite is true?” So we may not like our body. Maybe we have extra weight. Well some societies and cultures like more weight. Some like skinnier, some like heavier. Some like darker skin, some like lighter skin. Some guys want girls who are successful, some like girls who have a job that works less hours. Some girls want someone that is really high-powered and some want one that’s more vulnerable and nice. Everybody wants something different. Everybody is attracted to something different depending on where they’re from, their unique set of experiences, and all that stuff. So just ask yourself, could somebody else, maybe in a different society, maybe something different than I’m used to, think the opposite that I think about myself? Is that possible? And if it is, how do I know my opinion is somehow true? It’s just a perspective. It’s not real. It’s not true, you see.
What is the number one most important thing you want from life?
The last thing and perhaps the most important thing that I want to explain is simply that we confuse what we want with what we think we will get us what we want. So let me ask you a question. What is the number one most important thing in your life? What do you want more than anything else in your life? Number one, what do you want most or do you want to get, achieve, acquire, feel, whatever? Take a moment and really look for yourself. Try to answer that question. “What is the number one most important thing that I hope to have and get in my life?”
Well, different people have different ideas. Some people want success, wealth, fame, relationship, kids, love, to have an impact, to fulfill your potential, or different things like that. But what I’d like to offer you is that you don’t really want success, wealth, love, relationship, marriage, kids to fulfill a purpose, to fulfill potential. That is not what you want most. What you really want more than anything else is to be at peace, to feel happy, to be okay with yourself, to be content, to feel whole, to feel sufficient. That’s what we want most. But don’t take my word for it. Look for yourself.
Discover for yourself that you want peace and happiness more than anything else
If I gave you the following two options, which would you choose?
- Get what you want most in life, but be guaranteed to be unhappy – you feel depressed, anxiety about the future, worried about others’ opinions, insecurities, anger, judgment, sadness, guilt etc.
- Never achieve your goal or get what you want most, but you live with incredible peace and happiness. You never have depression, sadness, worry, anxiety, or any other form of suffering.
Which would you choose? For most of us, it’s very clear that “if I have the choice of getting what I want and being incredibly unhappy, or not getting what I want and being incredibly happy”, we choose not getting what we want. What that shows us is simply that you never wanted what you want. That was the means to get to happiness. What you genuinely, really, ultimately want is peace and happiness and each one of us was taught different ideas about what will get it for us. In other words, what you want more than anything else is to lose all of your suffering.
Our goals are just ideas that we thought could make us happy
The truth is that you don’t want success, you want to be happy and someone taught you somewhere along the way, success will make you happy. You don’t want a family, you want to be happy, and somewhere along the way, someone said you can’t be happy unless you have a family. That’s what you have to live for. If you don’t have a family, you’re a waste of life. You have to fulfill your potential. If you don’t fulfill your potential, you will always feel worthless and lacking. But those are ideas. All you want is peace and you just have an idea that those things will give you peace. You see, we confuse the means with the goal.
To make this more clear, you may think, “I really want ice cream. I just want it so bad”. But you don’t want ice cream. You want the feeling/pleasure you hope it will give you. If ice cream didn’t give you any pleasure, you wouldn’t want it. If you could find something else that will give you a better feeling, you would choose that. You see, we get confused between what we want and what we think we will get from what we want.
Achieving your goals can’t make you happy
So what’s the relevance to depression? Well, you think it’s bad that you don’t have success. But what you really want is peace, remember? Therefore, if you think it’s bad that you don’t have success, what you’re really saying is, “Success can make me happy and it’s bad that I don’t have success because I can’t be happy like this”. But can success make you happy? Well, what makes you unhappy? Thoughts. Thoughts about the past create sadness, resentment, guilt. Thoughts about right now create shame, depression, loneliness. Thoughts about the future create anxiety create anxiety, fear. Thoughts about others create judgment, anger. Thoughts about other’s opinions create worry. The only thing that ever made you unhappy in any moment in your entire life was thoughts. That’s it.
If you want something – success, love, marriage, kids, fulfillment, or fulfilling your goals, something like that – if you want one of those things, the easy way to tell whether it will make you happy is to simply ask, “Can it delete all of the thoughts that make me unhappy? Can it eliminate all the thoughts that make me unhappy or even a decent chunk of them?”. And the answer is always no. No matter what you achieve out there, it’s not going to get rid of your insecurities, your shame, your guilt, your worry about other’s opinions, you fear about losing what you have, your fear of not getting what you want, your fear about not being good enough – all that other stuff, and that’s what makes you unhappy.
Nothing about your life means you can’t be happy
When you say that something in your life is “bad”, what you are really saying is that this aspect of my life makes me unhappy, or means that I can’t be happy. In other words, if I made this “bad” part of my life “good”, then I would be happy.
Look at what you think is bad about your life, that makes you depressed, and then ask yourself, “Does that mean I can’t be happy?”. You may think that your living situation or job is “bad”. But, does the situation itself make you unhappy? No. Thoughts do. If you made your job and living situation match your idea of “perfect”, would you be happy? No. Because it can’t get rid of your thoughts. The facts of your situations don’t create happiness or suffering. Therefore, is it true that I can’t be happy with my current job or living situation?
You may think that something about your physical appearance or personality is “bad”. But, is it true that your physical appearance or personality creates suffering? If you made these things “perfect”, would you be happy? No. Because you would still have endless other thoughts that would create anger, sadness, insecurities, judgments, anxiety etc. Therefore, is it true that I can’t be happy with my physical appearance or personality?
You are at no disadvantage for being happy with you and your life exactly as you are
The facts of our situation can’t make us happy or unhappy because they don’t add or get rid of the thoughts that create all of our unwanted emotion. You are at no disadvantage whatsoever in being happy because nothing about who you are is bad or wrong. It’s just thoughts that create unhappiness. Nothing about your attributes, your traits, your characteristics, the way you act, your job, your living situation – none of that creates unhappiness, only thoughts. Getting what you think is so perfect – getting everything that you want can’t give what you want – peace. Getting what you want can’t give you what you want – peace. Getting what you want can’t eliminate all the thoughts that make you feel depressed. It can’t, it’s impossible.
You see, you are at no disadvantage for being at peace. You, just like the person who has the dream job and the looks that you think are wonderful – those people in order to be happy, they have to eliminate the thoughts in their head. They have all the thoughts that create all the unwanted emotions, and they have to investigate their thoughts and discover they are not true in order to be happy. You have to do the same thing. The process for you to become happy is the same as everyone else. Even the people with seemingly perfect live. I deal with all different types of depressed people – the people who have lives that they think are successful or unsuccessful, failure or not, lovable or not – everybody, I speak to everyone goes through the same process.
Depressed people often end up happier than the vast majority of people in life
To live in peace, you just have to look at what thoughts are creating your unhappiness and then recognize they’re not true. You’re at no disadvantage. You only think “I’m at a disadvantage because I’m depressed, and they’re at least a little happier than me”. But I have wonderful news for you. Often times, the people that are most depressed are the people that end up with the most peace. Why? Because it opens you up, you see. It opens you up. When you’re depressed, you recognize to some extent, “I failed at getting happy. I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to make myself happy. I give up”. And then you become more open to discovering what’s true. You become willing to look at your own thoughts, willing and open to question what you were taught is true in life.
Most people aren’t willing to investigate their thoughts
Most people never look at their own thoughts. Most people never even allow themselves to be by themselves with no distraction of tv, music, internet, friends, food etc. Why? Because we are afraid to be with our thoughts, because we hate being with our thoughts, and we are scared of what we might discover them saying.
Being depressed might be the greatest gift you ever got to make you happy, to give you peace. I’ve seen it happen too many times to discount that, to say, “Oh, it’s so bad that you’re depressed”. When I see someone depressed, I don’t see that’s bad and feel bad for them. I see, “Oh, maybe they will end up at peace, I don’t know”, I don’t see anything. I’m just here with you. You see, I have no idea whether it’s good or bad for your life, but I’ve seen so many times it ends up helping someone to have more peace.
Is it possible that your depression will lead you to peace?
Whatever’s going on in your life, whatever experience you have, whatever situation, whatever your looks are, whatever anything – ask yourself, “Is it possible that this is giving me an experience I need to help me discover something that ultimately leads me to peace? Is it possible that this – what I’m going through can give me something, help me recognize something, help me discover something that leads me to peace?” The only thing that leads us in peace is discovering that the thoughts in our head aren’t real or true. That’s it. That’s all.
Thank you for watching this video about how to deal with depression
I think that’s all I’m going to say in this video. I hope it made sense. I hope you enjoyed. I hope you feel some relief, but if not, that’s okay. And I’m sorry, I guess. So thank you for watching and I’ll see you soon. Bye.