How to feel happy:
Do you want to feel fulfilled, peaceful, happy, and whole? If so, what are you doing to try to make yourself happy? Most of us have gone through life believing that the circumstances and events in our lives are the cause of our sadness, anger, anxiety, shame, and feeling of lack.
Therefore, naturally, we look to change our circumstances to make us happy. We may try to get success, wealth and respect. We may look to improve our physical appearance. We may try to get love, appreciation, and respect. We may try to change our situation and the people in our lives. Or we may just look to entertainment and fun experiences to make ourselves happy.
This is what we were taught will make us happy. This is how we see our family and friends pursue happiness, and this is how characters on TV and in movies seem to pursue happiness. For most of us, the belief that these things will make us happy is so strong and widespread that we go through much of our lives without even questioning whether this method works.
Has anything you’ve gotten in life given you lasting happiness?
You can take a moment right now and ask yourself the following questions:
- Has changing my circumstances helped me to stop feeling angry, sad, or guilty about the past?
- Has my attempt to improve myself helped me to stop feeling ashamed, unworthy, or like something is missing from my life?
- Has changing my situation and the circumstances in my life gotten me to stop having anxiety about the future?
- Has anything gotten me to stop worrying about what other people think?
- Has anything gotten me to stop judging myself and others?
If the answer to these questions is “no”, then how long do you want to keep waiting for the things you’ve been doing to make you happy? If you keep doing the same things you’ve been doing to make yourself happy, you will keep getting the same results. There’s nothing wrong with any of these things we do to make ourselves happy. They give us some wonderful moments of happiness, and they can help make us happier than we were. But does it give you the lasting happiness and fulfillment that you want?
You don’t have to live life with anxiety, worry, shame, & lack
Regardless of whether you consider yourself generally happy or unhappy, you don’t have to live life with anxiety about the future, worrying about what others think, feeling resentful or sad about past events, angry at others, or feeling ashamed and incomplete. That’s not our natural state.
The reason you don’t feel free, whole, and happy isn’t because you aren’t good enough, it isn’t because you are missing something, it isn’t because you haven’t achieved your goals, it isn’t because you are unworthy, and it isn’t because you don’t have the “perfect” circumstances.
To discover how to feel happy, you first have to understand what is causing your unhappiness
How to feel happy? Imagine that you just sat down in a chair, and as soon as you sat down, you felt a pain in your back. But you don’t want to be in pain. You want to feel comfortable. So you ask yourself, “How can I make myself comfortable?”. Once you ask this question, the next logical question you would ask yourself is “What is causing the pain in my back?” You would instinctively know that in order to feel comfortable, you have to identify the cause of your pain, and then fix this issue.
The same is true with happiness. The answer to the question of “How to feel happy?” is to identify and address the cause of your unhappiness. So if you want to be happy, the most important question to ask yourself is “What is causing my unhappiness?” Then you might discover that it is actually your thoughts that have been making you unhappy. If you don’t understand what’s making you unhappy, then you can’t address it. The cause of our unwanted emotions is not the circumstances in our lives, but actually our thoughts about everything in our lives.
Don’t believe what I say about how to feel happy
How to feel happy? I don’t want you to believe me that your thoughts are the cause of your unhappiness. Please don’t believe me. What I speak about isn’t theory, it isn’t philosophy, and it isn’t meant to be believed. Everything I speak about is meant to be directly experienced. Therefore, I want you to directly discover everything for yourself.
An exercise to help you discover the cause of your unhappiness
Let’s first take a look at what you think about your current emotional state, and why you think you’re unhappy. Please answer the following questions:
- Are you unhappy? Are you suffering with anxiety, fear, worry, anger, sadness, guilt, shame, depression, or hurt?
- If so, what do you think is causing your unhappiness? (i.e. something about yourself is “bad”, your situation is “bad”, or the people in your life is “bad”)
- What do you do for fun? Do you have anything that you really love doing? For example, You may go dancing, play sports, socialize, go to concerts, listen to music, eat food you love, eat desserts, watch tv, or play with your kids.
- Are you able to enjoy yourself, be happy, or have fun while participating in your favorite hobby, doing your favorite activity, or eating your favorite food?
- In the moments that you are participating in your favorite hobby, and you are happy, does the “bad” aspect of yourself, your situation, or the people in your life still exist?
- If so, why are you able to stop experiencing your unhappiness and have fun (be happy) just by entertaining yourself?
This happens simply because entertainment distracts you from the negative thoughts that are actually creating your suffering. If a “bad” circumstance in your life created your unhappiness, then as long as that “bad” circumstance still existed, you wouldn’t be able to escape that unhappiness.
Are you ready to change your approach for how to feel happy?
What do you do to try to make yourself happy? Has it fulfilled you and given you peace? Has it stopped you from feeling anger, anxiety, worry, shame, and incompleteness?
The 2 major steps for how to feel happy
There are a variety of different emotions that we each experience that keep us from being happy. In addition, each of us has a different belief about what we think is causing our unwanted emotions. For example, we may believe that our suffering is created by our: physical pain, physical attributes, personality, house, car, job, spouse, children, or certain unwanted events.
- Since there are many different emotions, and many different apparent causes our emotions, I have created 6 different ways to help you discover for yourself that your unhappiness and unwanted emotions are actually created by your thoughts and not by your circumstances.
- Once you discover that your unwanted emotion is created by thoughts, you then need to address these thoughts. The way to do that is by disbelieving those thoughts. When you stop believing a thought that is creating an unwanted emotion for you, that emotion will instantly dissolve.
If you would like to try dissolving one of your unwanted emotions right now, you can click here to go through my free web app called “The 5 Steps”. Alternatively, if you would like to check out the 1st exercise (it’s a blog post) to help you discover for yourself that your unwanted emotions are actually created by thoughts, please click the blue text image below:
You can be happy now
If your unhappiness is only created by thoughts, that is wonderful news because that means that you don’t need to change anything about yourself, your circumstances, or the people in your life to make yourself happy. When you change yourself, your circumstances, or the people in your life to become happy, you aren’t addressing the actual cause of your unhappiness. If you don’t need to change all of these things to be happy, that means you can be happy now. The only thing you have to do is eliminate/address the thoughts that make you unhappy.
Thank you for reading this blog post about how to feel happy!
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