Why The Law Of Attraction Creates Tremendous Suffering
This blog post is going to save you from a lot of suffering
Hello, my name is Noah Elkrief, and in this blog post, I’m going to talk about why practicing the law of attraction can’t give you the happiness you want and will actually create a tremendous amount of suffering in your life. If you’ve been practicing the law of attraction, you are going to experience so much relief by the end of this blog post and everything will start to make sense. And if you haven’t yet practiced the law of attraction, this video is going to save you a lot of time, energy and suffering.
What is law of attraction
The premise of the law of attraction is very simple – if you think about your goals enough and in the right way, and think only positively about your goals, and imagine your goals so clearly in whatever way is necessary, you will create them and you will achieve your goals. And that sounds very nice, because that means it’s in your hands, you can do it.
What do you want more than anything else in your life?
There are two major issues with that premise, okay? One is, why do you want to achieve your goals? How do you hope you will feel when you achieve your goals? Just take a moment and really answer that. What is the most important thing to you in life, what do you want more than anything else? You may have an idea like success, family, power, wealth, appreciation, respect, potential, but why do you want that? How do you hope you will feel when you get that?
The number one most important you hope to get in life is peace and happiness
Because the real truth if you’re willing to be honest with yourself and really willing to ask yourself what you really want, the truth is that you want peace. The truth is you just want to feel ok. The truth is you want to feel whole and enough and worthy. The truth is that you want to lose all of your suffering, all of your anxiety, worry, judgment, anger, sadness, insecurities and everything else, more than anything else. And what happens is, we create these goals, not because we want to achieve the goal in and of itself, but only because we hope it will give us what we ultimately want – peace.
You only want to achieve your goals because you believe they will make you happy
You don’t want success, you want peace, and you hope success will give it to you. You don’t want appreciation and love and to achieve your purpose and have meaning, what you want is peace, and you hope getting meaning and purpose will give you peace.
If I gave you the following two options, which would you choose?
- Achieve your main goal, but be guaranteed to be unhappy – you feel depressed, anxiety about the future, worried about others’ opinions, insecurities, anger, judgment, sadness, guilt etc.
- Never achieve your goal or get what you want most, but you live with incredible peace and happiness. You never have depression, sadness, worry, anxiety, or any other form of suffering.
Which would you choose? I’m not saying those are your choices in life. I’m not saying you can’t be happy with success and that you will be happy without it. I’m saying, if those were your two choices, which would you choose? Achieving your goal and being incredibly unhappy, or not achieving your goal and being happy. For most of us, it’s very clear that “if I have the choice of getting what I want and being incredibly unhappy, or not getting what I want and being incredibly happy”, we choose not getting what we want. What that shows us is simply that you never wanted what you want. That was the means to get to happiness. What you genuinely, really, ultimately want is peace and happiness and each one of us was taught different ideas about what will get it for us. In other words, what you want more than anything else is to lose all of your suffering.
Since you think that achieving your goal is the only way to get peace, it seems impossible to not achieve your goal and be happy. But, before we investigate whether your goal can make you happy, and whether it’s possible to be happy without achieving it, let’s just be clear about what you want more than anything else: peace.
Achieving success is not the goal, it is the means. Achieving whatever you want is not the goal, it is the means to get to your goal. If you think you want ice cream, you don’t. You want the pleasure that ice cream will give you. If ice cream didn’t give you pleasure, you wouldn’t want it. The goal is to feel good, not to get what you want, right?
Achieving your goal can’t make you happy
If you see that you want peace more than anything else, we can move on. For now, let’s assume the law of attraction works. That if you think about your goal in a positive way enough, you can get it. Let’s assume that part is true, just for right now.
But, here is the more important question: Can getting what you want get you what you really want? Can achieving your goals give you the peace you’ve been looking for? You see, when we look at how to be happy, we look at it as if I just get something, that will give me happiness. As if happiness and peace is out there and I just need to get it.
But what makes you unhappy? Thoughts that create anxiety about the future, thoughts that make you worry about other’s opinions, thoughts that create insecurities, thoughts that create shame, thoughts that create guilt, thoughts that create sadness, thoughts that create anger and resentment, thoughts that judge others. In other words, the only thing that creates our suffering is our thoughts. So can success eliminate all the thoughts in our head? Is everyone that’s successful free from anxiety about what their boss thinks, is everybody that’s successful not have problems in their relationship, do they not feel guilty about their parenting skills, do they not worry about other’s opinions?
Achieving your goal can’t get rid of the thoughts that cause all of your suffering
Whatever goal you have, just take a moment now and ask yourself – “Can it eliminate all of the thoughts that create the suffering that I currently have?” If you have a thought that says, “My life isn’t good enough because I don’t have any money,” then when you get money, you won’t have that thought, but you will still have all of the others thoughts that make you unhappy. But, on top of that, if you think money caused your happiness, then you’ll worry about losing your money. So you’ll have a whole bunch of new thoughts, and a lot of the same old thoughts, so it can’t give you the happiness you want, it can’t give you the peace you want.
Even if law of attraction works, it still can’t get you what you really want
When you’re practicing law of attraction, you’re trying so hard all the time to get you something which can’t give you what you want. And we’ll get to the amount of suffering it causes in a little bit, but for right now, just see, even if it got you to achieve your goals, you’d still be unhappy. You’d still have all the same suffering you have now practically, maybe more.
How to examine whether law of attraction works
The premise of law of attraction is that if you think positively about something, you will create it, acquire it, change it, obtain it. That seems like a nice idea. But let’s examine that. Let’s really investigate the validity of that assumption. The way cause and effect works is that if a cause has an effect, it has that same effect every single time right? How do you do know that a flame actually creates heat? If you have a flame and you put your finger to the flame, every single time you put it there, you will feel heat. It creates heat, for every person, every time. That’s how you know flame creates heat, because every person when they come into contact with it, they feel heat, every time.
Thinking positively about a goal does not always produce the goal
If positive thoughts, imagining a future outcome, created that outcome, then it would work every single time for every person. But is that the way it works in real life? I’ll give you an example – if there is an athlete, what law of attraction would like you to believe is that if that athlete is confident and imagines the future and he convinces himself he can do it and he pictures it over and over again, he’ll make it there. But if he pictures that he’s not going to do it and he’s a little negative about it, then he’ll not make it, right? That may happen. It often does happen. The one who’s confident and positively and continuously pictures achieving the goal may achieve it, and the one who is negative not may not achieve the goal.
However, the opposite scenario also happens quite often. I’ve seen it so many times in any field of interest. Sometimes, when you believe you’re going to achieve your goal and you’re almost certain you’re going to get it and you’re almost certain you’re so great at it, then sometimes you don’t try as hard. Overconfident, or just confident enough that you don’t need to try as hard. Alternatively, you may have all that confidence, and you do try as hard as possible, but yet you don’t succeed. You picture it, you believe you can do it and you don’t succeed. It happens all the time.
If 100 of the best high school basketball players all fully believe they are going to go to the NBA, because everyone tells them that they will and they are better than everyone else, will they all go pro? No. Why not? Even if they fully believe they will make it, they might get injured, might get into an argument with their coach and not get playing time, might not have good enough grades to get into a decent college program, might get distracted by girls in school and not give enough effort to basketball, might get addicted to drugs or alcohol, might get depressed and not be able to put for the effort, or their body may change as they put on weight. To say that only thinking positively determines an external outcome is a completely ignoring what actually happens in life.
Thinking negatively sometimes results in achieving goals
Sometimes, the one who is not confident, who thinks they won’t achieve their goal, end up achieving their goal. Instead of focusing on everything they’re good at, they might focus on everything that they’re bad at and be down all the time and be sad about it all the time and even if they do well in a game, they’re still sad about it because they’re focused on the little things they messed up. But maybe focusing on all those little things they messed up on will get them to improve even more, which can help to achieve their goal. And that can happen in every field.
Our thinking is not the sole factor that determines external outcomes
Imagining that something will work out doesn’t mean that it will. Telling yourself “I am great at it,” doesn’t mean you’re going to achieve anything. And telling yourself, “I am terrible,” doesn’t mean that you won’t. It happens all the time on exams – you can go into the exam extremely confident, picturing the A, picturing the good score, and then you don’t do well. Things come up on the test that you weren’t ready for, you weren’t expecting it, or somehow you just didn’t remember the things that you studied. Even though you pictured that you would get there. Or sometimes you go into a test thinking, “I’m not going to do well, it’s going to go so badly,” and then you get a good grade. You think there’s no way I’m going to get a good grade, and then you do. If the thoughts in your head created the outcome, that would never, ever occur. But yet it does, over and over and over again.
We are erroneously giving credit to thinking for our successes and failures
To give you another example, imagine I gave ten people a rain dance. I say, “If you do this (hand motion) over and over again, you will create rain in your town.” And then ten people do it, in different towns all over the country, and then two of them come back to me and say, “It worked, it rained that day.” Does that mean that doing this (hand motion) creates rain? No, it was a coincidence, a complete coincidence. The hand motion didn’t create the rain, it just rained and they happened to do this (hand motion). But if those two people then share with the other eight people, “I did the rain dance and it worked, it rained in my town,” then the other eight people are going to think, “What am I doing wrong? Why isn’t this working?” But it’s not that they’re doing it wrong, that was just a coincidence.
Practicing the law of attraction creates a constant internal struggle
Now, onto the suffering that the law of attraction creates, one of which I just alluded to in that last example. And that is, if you believe that thinking positively about achieving your goal can create that outcome you’re looking for, well that means you’re going to pressure yourself all day, to try to battle the thoughts in your head. If they’re being negative, you battle them and try to push them away. Then you get frustrated “Why can’t I push them away” or “What’s wrong with me that I can’t stop thinking negative”. Then, when you’re not getting closer to your goal, or you didn’t achieve your goal, that creates shame and self-hatred because you believe it is your fault for failing to control your thoughts. What am I doing wrong? Why isn’t it working? So much frustration and shame comes from that.
Practicing the law of attraction creates tremendous anxiety
If you believe achieving your goal will give you that happiness you’ve always been looking for, which is the premise of law of attraction, then you will also believe that if you don’t achieve that goal, you will be unhappy. So that creates anxiety and fear. If you think your happiness is dependent on achieving a particular outcome, you are going to fear not achieving it. There’s no way around that.
But luckily your happiness is not dependent on achieving an outcome because the outcome can’t get rid of the thoughts in your head.
Practicing the law of attraction creates a sense of something missing in your life
On top of that, when you believe that achieving your fantasy, your goal, will give you happiness, what you automatically, unconsciously are doing is comparing the moment you achieve your fantasy to this moment, right now. If you believe success is the greatest, travel is the greatest, wealth is the greatest, well what does that make you feel about this moment? It makes you feel lacking, it makes you feel empty, it makes you feel insufficient and unworthy because you are not there. In other words, it makes you feel like something is missing from your life.
Practicing the law of attraction creates so much suffering
Every time that you are imagining how great your fantasy would be, and how you can achieve it, what you are doing over and over again is comparing this moment to your fantasy (think that’s helping you get there), when all it’s really doing is creating anxiety, lack, frustration and a constant efforting in your head. If some people think positive and achieve their goals, that doesn’t mean that thinking positive created their goals. It just means they achieved their goals. Some people think negative and achieve their goals, it doesn’t create it, you have to look at the difference between correlation and causation. It doesn’t create it, and even if it did, it wouldn’t create happiness, it would just create so much suffering.
How to be happy
I welcome you, I welcome you to ask, investigate, what do I really want? Peace. And what is preventing me from it? Just believing the thoughts in my head. That’s it. So if you want to start addressing the thoughts directly, instead of trying to change everything external in your life to hopefully give you happiness, you can check out the other videos on my channel, or my free e-book, or anything along those lines.
Thanks for watching this video about why the law of attraction creates suffering
So thank you for watching, I hope it helped and gave you some relief, or at least got you not to go in that direction. So I’ll see you on the next video. Bye.